What to do for military families during deployments.

A unique aspect of being a military families is facing deployments. Deployment to a war zone can be broken into three stages: pre-deployment, deployment and post-deployment. Each stage brings a different set of emotions.

Pre-deployment: The challenges of pre-deployment are anger ("Why is this happening"), a sense of loss ("What will I do?") and disconnection ("I'm going to have to do this alone."). Paperwork (wills, power of attorney) and tears usually transition to a sense of readiness to be apart, though no one is ever really ready or happy about it.

Deployment: Coping is all about adaptation. The remaining spouse feels overwhelmed initially. Things break, unexpected bills arrive and kids get sick or act out. It feels crushing. Slowly, a routine emerges and things get handled.

Post-deployment: The toughest time can be the reunion because both spouses have changed and the family dynamic is different. The old ways of handling finances, child rearing and decision-making have changed. The family is happy to be together, but re-negotiation is required.

Knowing the phases of deployment and the normal emotions and reactions to deployment can help a family cope.

Military families today are stressed with an unprecedented number of deployments. The civilian community can help by reaching out to them. Adopt a family and make them part of yours, especially if they have no family support during the deployment. The loneliness felt by the family left behind is indescribable.

Thank you and hug a military family member!